Whoops, it's been a while. And many things have happened!
The past few weeks have felt incredibly hectic for a number of reasons. I went to a few seminars on effective writing and making academic posters, which was fun and interesting (though a bit paranoia inducing regarding the writing--there may have been some talk of thesis defense, which I am not allowing myself to think about at the moment). I'm also taking German classes specifically tailored for academic use and reading, which definitely plays to my strengths rather than my weaknesses with language learning, so it's going fairly well. I'm actually determined to see the course through this time, which is a good sign.
I also got a haircut for the first time in nearly eight months because my hair had gotten completely out of control. It's still really long, longer than it's been in ages, but I had short layers put in so that the bottom half of it doesn't go all triangular and pouf-y when it dries now. Far more manageable. Next, I must re-dye.
I've also been doing some further exploring of Durham with my flatmates and found some nice places to eat, as well as places to go dancing. The club scene is heavily undergraduate, as to be expected, but still fun. It's at least doing a good job of giving me some balance between work and not-work, which I am frankly in need of at the moment. I can feel myself recalibrating my research strategies in reaction to how my last chapter turned out, and the transition isn't precisely smooth. I'm feeling better about it now, but there's been a lot of flailing around and feeling stymied and asking myself why the hell I thought I was suited to being an academic. Still not sure on that last front, but at least I've regained some sense of direction.
Thus, my research is now slowly taking shape and going in a rather different direction than I originally intended, but I think it may work. Trying to tie all of my literature to the Gothic, while possible, ended up being both limiting and difficult to argue for in terms of how useful it was to do, so I started poking around into some related but alternate approaches. This led to working with Romanticism at large which in turn led to mythology and historiography, and those are turning up some far more useful sources and ideas. So now I'm looking at the formation of modern myths about the Industrial Revolution, by way of 19th century, Romance-influenced literature. I even have a working title! The Rise of the Steam Demons sounds like some ridiculous sci-fi novel, but it is totally just a reworked quote from Carlyle, so its dramatic turn is entirely justified.
So I think this will be far more successful and interesting as a general topic, because it's so clear by the way we think about the Industrial Revolution now that in some ways we've enshrined it as a sort of semi-magical time of sudden development and technical genius, contrasted with the sort of romantic notion of dark, factory-stricken English cities. In other words, we've made it a mythical entity, in part because of how it was immortalized by its contemporary authors. I'm liking being sure that I'm doing something that actually pertains to modern culture.
All of the myth and historiographical stuff is completely new to me, however, which means that I'm doing tons of background reading in addition to my more primary documents. So now my room is smothered in books. The case for getting a Kindle is growing.
And finally, in non-academic and really out-of-character news, I went way outside of my comfort zone recently and went to a training weekend for a sort of anonymous student support phoneline, wherein I learned how to listen to people talk about their anxieties and emotional difficulties and offer support without actually giving advice. It was...definitely not my style of emotional support, and I didn't altogether agree with the organization's tenets, which is probably why I didn't ultimately get selected to do the work (and am thus able to talk about it, because as stated, it's anonymous), but it was eye-opening to get some education on psychological issues I've never experienced or had to deal with. It also alerted me to the fact that I've gotten way more direct and aggressive in my old age, and that other people are way less scientific about how they deal with emotion than I am. So you know, educational all around. Altogether, an interesting psychological experiment.
And there we are. I really hope the next few weeks are a bit calmer so I can hunker down, do some job applications, and actually shape my mountains of notes into some articulate material.
